Surprisingly, my hands didn't hurt as much as history writing. Maybe it's just a matter of getting used to the pain and maybe the feeling of such strenuous activity over a prolonged period of time. And maybe, econs was always slower in writing haiz. Never did expect to finish anyway.
It's amazing how little stress I'm feeling, or at least I think I'm feeling. Cramming all the papers in the first few days was a horrible idea, whoever came up with that wonderful schedule.
Only 2 more papers, and seriously quite little mugging >< Considering I'm just going to read through CSC like it's for entertainment and nothing else. It's no wonder the stress is minimal now.
Or maybe the stress comes from returning of papers. Not feeling too optimistic about a lot of them, but it's over ><
But I did wish I had more stress on myself, to push myself more.
Even if I say that I don't really care now, or much as I say everything is like hopeless, if only there was a source that could really provide me with the motivation I need to really do my best.
Passion and feeling is important in anything, I realized.
Doing something you are passionate about, that can let you temporarily forget the feelings you've been trying to forget. But otherwise, any single little trigger will end up making you think of the thing you least want to. Especially at this kind of timing.
Sometimes, I really wonder if it's the trigger that matters or that the feeling is too deep to be truly removed such that any single thing even with the most implicit link can be a reminder.
Of course, it doesn't help that sometimes, fate has to bring things that we never wanted to us at the wrong time. Haiz.
There are some stuff I really rather avoid, but then avoidance doesn't really help at times, does it? It's so much of human nature to avoid and thinking it would be for the best but then sometimes, it's the opposite effect instead >< Haiz.
Thank goodness there's someone who can always manage to put a smile on my face no matter what happens (: Friends are nice in this way, and friends who are close are truly those worth being treasured. <3
