I'm moving.

I suppose in a sense, this had been coming for a long time. It's probably just that I never had that last push to really get myself to start anew.

Sometimes, it's hard to want to start things all over again, not when you know that things are all different.

But again, before this blog rots away, I just want to know how you think of me. It doesn't really matter what you are going to tell me, good or bad.

I suppose, sometimes, a little criticism is good for self-improvement. So yeah, just message me somehow.

I would really appreciate those words that I could use to better myself. Even though yeah self reflection should still play a part.

Good luck finding my new blog, it's probably not that hard to find haha.

But for now, off towards a new start hopefully.

Isn't it quite funny that this decision came on the day when 愛 finally finished after three years?

♥ 9:20 PM

I just realised that it was actually pretty expected that my grades would come out like that so far.

That doesn't mean that I'm not disappointed. Maybe, yeah, with more effort and practice, things could have turned out better.

Surprisingly not much feeling at finally failing something for promos. But then, I suppose that was accumulated all over the span of waiting for results. Probably would have gotten a larger reaction if a miracle happened. But no.

I miss the times when I think I had a more competitive streak in me haiz.

To feel almost nothing for such a paper, gives quite a lot of feelings -.-

Just waiting for the remaining to come back. Then all will be well, maybe.

I'm quite surprised with CSC though, considering that I really thought that I was going to die badly, and considering that it was the subject I was the most stressed over.

♥ 1:05 AM

I think sometimes, there are indeed some things that can let me smile again, even if everything seems pretty gloomy.

Thanks for listening to me talk so much for so long, I never realised how much I needed someone to be there for me and just listen.

Sometimes, just blogging doesn't really help much.

I appreciate the care and concern, and will try my best. The results of it, who knows? Life is pretty unpredictable.

No idea whether you would read this, but still, thank you! Thanks for being such a good friend. (:

You know who you are xD

Whoever said MSN replaces real life interaction and human feelings, blehs.

♥ 1:27 AM

I realize that books are indeed paradise at times.

Just immerse in the feel of the book and concentrate on the words, the story. And somehow, anything that had been bad the previous moment could suddenly be thrown out of your mind as you just absorb.

And that, is really one of the best remedies for thinking too much.

I quite hate the fact that some memories are so vivid. I rather get amnesia over that one aspect or something. But then, what would life be without memories?

Missing the times. The times when everything was so much better. Reminiscing mood these days haha. And oops PW is pretty oh nos.

Must finish up the to-do list for tomorrow. It's not good having so many important things left undone.

---

我站在回憶的入口 蒐集我左胸口暴走的寂寞
赤裸裸的失落 一目了然的痛 讓我無法說淚是因為吹風我沿著命運的箭頭 無奈向前走到下個人的懷中
愛你還沒愛夠 你卻要我放手 誰懂在時間的秘密花園中
你從沒走

I can't get over this song.

♥ 12:43 AM

I'm really tired. But somehow, it feels pretty fulfilling somewhat.

Never realized that such joy could come from such simple things in life at the end of the day. Even if you may be cursing throughout the entire process, ultimately, you may look back and find that those are the greatest memories ever.

Why is ignorance such bliss sometimes? At least a lot of things could have been different haiz.

I am starting to see a trend, something I don't really want to see. But what choice is there? Maybe someday, I will become a bit smarter and do what is best. But for now, sighs.

Sabbaticals were really quite fun.

Never realized that Spanish pronunciation is so similar to Japanese :O I almost spoke Japanese instead of Spanish quite a few times. But somehow that makes it all the more fun.

Lol though why do sabbaticals last longer than actual lessons? :O

Back to reality as oh nos, so behind time for PW. >< I have absolutely no idea if OP slides or I&R is more important -.- Shall take it as it comes. Spent too much time slacking and doing things that are wayy nicer than PW! xD

Going to miss quite a lot of things. But maybe, a new experience is not all that bad.

♥ 9:01 PM

YESS! Promos finally over!

Though technically, I seriously have no idea whether to celebrate or to grieve over it.

PW's back in train of thoughts haiz. But on the bright side, at least a few days to relax first, hopefully!

I really have no idea how the results will come back >< The only inkling I have is of 1 CSC essay and Math, neither of which is optimistic.

But yes, LIBERATION! :D For the moment at least.

What happens when the results come back is another matter altogether though. I already prepped my parents for horrible Math results, so that better be okay haiz.

And I still can't believe my exams had to last one full week -.- Seriously, with a Saturday! Having CSC on both the old and new Children's Day is plain ><

Oh no this post was supposed to be happy!

But I realised that yes, finally can start the totally non-school related to-do list! :D With little guilt too haha! Commitments commitments.

Can't wait for tomorrow to come! :D And shucks I have quite little life considering that it's so much of staying at home and stoning in front of the laptop :O Not good.

Tomorrow shall be a happier day! ^^

---

Sometimes, I really hate it when reminders have to be present so much. Distractions, distractions.

Fate, you can be so cruel at times.

Or maybe sometimes, it's just the wrong decisions made haiz.

♥ 11:44 PM

Surprisingly, my hands didn't hurt as much as history writing. Maybe it's just a matter of getting used to the pain and maybe the feeling of such strenuous activity over a prolonged period of time. And maybe, econs was always slower in writing haiz. Never did expect to finish anyway.

It's amazing how little stress I'm feeling, or at least I think I'm feeling. Cramming all the papers in the first few days was a horrible idea, whoever came up with that wonderful schedule.

Only 2 more papers, and seriously quite little mugging >< Considering I'm just going to read through CSC like it's for entertainment and nothing else. It's no wonder the stress is minimal now.

Or maybe the stress comes from returning of papers. Not feeling too optimistic about a lot of them, but it's over ><

But I did wish I had more stress on myself, to push myself more.

Even if I say that I don't really care now, or much as I say everything is like hopeless, if only there was a source that could really provide me with the motivation I need to really do my best.

Passion and feeling is important in anything, I realized.

Doing something you are passionate about, that can let you temporarily forget the feelings you've been trying to forget. But otherwise, any single little trigger will end up making you think of the thing you least want to. Especially at this kind of timing.

Sometimes, I really wonder if it's the trigger that matters or that the feeling is too deep to be truly removed such that any single thing even with the most implicit link can be a reminder.

Of course, it doesn't help that sometimes, fate has to bring things that we never wanted to us at the wrong time. Haiz.

There are some stuff I really rather avoid, but then avoidance doesn't really help at times, does it? It's so much of human nature to avoid and thinking it would be for the best but then sometimes, it's the opposite effect instead >< Haiz.

Thank goodness there's someone who can always manage to put a smile on my face no matter what happens (: Friends are nice in this way, and friends who are close are truly those worth being treasured. <3

♥ 12:56 AM