This is way too much complaining about the same issue but I can't resist it -.-

Who knew that the hand cramps would only set in a few hours later? :/

Sheesh 19 pages of things, it's no wonder.

And worse thing is, cannot relax at all, not until 10.30 am tomorrow anyway.

Someone tell me why I'm still slacking away here and daoing CSC.

Minorities always suffer, that has always been the case ><

But well, must jiayous for the upcoming days!

♥ 9:33 PM

It may be quite highly exaggerated.

But I don't think I've ever felt so hopeless for exams, to the point where I don't even want to study any more.

How is it even possible to finish studying everything by Friday? And seriously, CSC on Saturday?!

I can just prepare to fail very badly for promos and pray CA pulls me up. The outlook doesn't seem optimistic.

It's not a case of I didn't study. I tried, really. Somehow, things just don't go in because the basis is horrible.

There are a lot of better things a school can do with money other than to indirectly cause some very pointless event to be organized.

One would include hiring better teachers.

When I blanked out at that question during lesson yesterday, seriously, maybe SBQ might pull my marks up somehow.

And for now, it's just so tiring, wanting to sleep but not able to because there are so many things left undone.

At least it's something I have more interest in. At least that's good.

And not to mention, econs is untouched. What happened to my study plan?!

I hate myself.

But I really want to celebrate right after econs.

Getting all the content heavy subjects finished in 4 days. When majority of my attention has been wasted on the earlier subjects?

Why can't people just think more and spare a thought for the poor kids whose hands will be half dead by monday? And the noise during exams? Please don't let it happen again.

I never thought I would be so dissatisfied.

Or numb towards exams. It's not even stress. It's just pure hopeless, 彻底绝望了.

♥ 10:55 PM

Sometimes, I really don't know what I'm feeling.

Just when you think that you have gotten everything figured out, something has to happen to tip over the balance and somehow, the process seems never ending.

I hate that sometimes, triggers can be so small, yet there can be a reaction that totally catches people off guard.

Happens in history on a large scale, happens in personal lives with feelings. It may only affect a few people, but it does make us wonder about how life is so unpredictable.

Gearing up for something you've been waiting for such a long time, and suddenly, the unexpected occurs and everything just gets thrown off the track. Life does not have a straight path, does it?

Maybe that's why people decide to be spontaneous. At least there's some sense of control in your own life. That you just go with the flow and be random as you want to depending on circumstance.

---

"Pain had always been part of love so instead of looking someone who couldn't hurt you might as well better try finding someone that is worth the pain"

As quoted from a really close friend. True, isn't it?

When life loves to throw so many surprises at you, something painful always happens. And well, someday, that someone who's worth the pain might just end up relieving all the pain you've ever experienced. Someday.

---

It seems somewhat a blessing in disguise that my phone decided to die on me, at least until Tuesday.

Money for a good lesson learnt maybe? I never knew phones were so vulnerable in that sense.

But then again, it's nice re-discovering old songs that I used to listen to a lot, and breaking out of the playlist that I've been playing for so many weeks.

我站在回憶的入口 蒐集我左胸口暴走的寂寞
赤裸裸的失落 一目了然的痛 讓我無法說淚是因為吹風
我沿著命運的箭頭 無奈向前走到下個人的懷中
愛你還沒愛夠 你卻要我放手 誰懂在時間的秘密花園中 你從沒走

<3

♥ 11:14 PM

Need to learn how to survive without my phone.

Blehs, especially when mobile communication is so important -.- Can't believe the whole thing just died. And it was supposed to last for a few years hmm.

I just realised that my CA grades are like one whole range, from A to E >< No idea if that is supposed to be good or not, considering that my best subject that is CSC and yet it's like one of the lower percentiles. Normal though.

No time! And lack of sleep totally.

Need to prioritise some more.

---

Is it human behaviour just to stick to their own cliques and never wanting to break out of it?

Even when it's probably not very good for your physical and psychological well-being in the long run.

Some people need to learn how to control themselves more.

Even if the person is nice, it doesn't mean that she doesn't care about anything that you do. Seriously.

---

Depressing thoughts and depressing day today.

♥ 10:04 AM

Some small things that happen, can really turn your whole perspective around.

I used to think that it was okay, but now, not really. In fact, this probably taught me a lesson for life.

It's interesting to know that even with the world being so complicated these days, there are some people with so strong moral compasses that it feels just nice to know them and that well, at least, you get enlightened a bit.

When people do things sometimes, they really don't think of what others feel.

Looking upon others as a mirror, it really is quite ironic how certain actions can be so repulsive to yourself but you still do the same thing, and even think that nothing is wrong with that.

Makes me think quite a bit about whether I do things to others that they really hate. And if I don't even know is, it is quite a depressing thought. Maybe yeah in the process of saying some things, I offend people. But not too much I hope.

These few days have been, quite distracting. Too many things to think about, to feel about. And it's quite bad for it to be this time ><

Why is it that people think that doing whatever they want is right? It's not just you who's affected by your own actions, especially in a class setting. But others get affected as well, the number of innocent people who got dragged down is not very little. And it's not like there was so much to be gained from doing that anyway.

Pot calling the kettle black. That is truly ironic.

When other people can get away with doing the same thing, it doesn't mean that you can do the same thing too, especially when you know that it is wrong.

And everything is back to normal tomorrow again. Or so it seems.

♥ 10:39 PM

Can't believe that one school week is over just like that. And of course, I have to say that nothing has proceeded very much in terms of promos revision ><

Someone tell me what possessed me to think that I can actually find motivation to study. But then again, if that doesn't happen, Whwill be quite horrible. Haiz.

---

Can't believe that one year has passed by so fast.

It felt like just such a short time ago that it was last year and we were still in sec 4, when so many things were just beginning to happen in my life.

One year flies too.

<3

It's such a habit in my life now that it really feels weird thinking that actually, my life wasn't what it is now last year beginning of year.

---

Must be more productive.

♥ 9:31 PM

A sign that I really need to buck up, like now.

No more dilly-dallying, not after 15 September. And everything has to start today, maybe later.

Includes digging out of notes and seriously revising.

Even as I see people revising, the sense of urgency is not yet there.

Until I got the super obvious sign that I flunked Econs lecture test really really badly this time.

Really. Need. To. Stop. Being. So. Freaking. Lazy.

♥ 11:00 PM

My sleep cycle is honestly ruined, looking at this kind of timing ahem ><

But then again, I never truly expected much from myself. Good or bad I don't know.

Today, or rather yesterday, was the first day of school of Term 4. I really can't say much about it except that being in school is seriously way more productive than staring at the laptop.

But then I blame it on so many things to be happening today <3 Things that well, if missed, I would probably regret for my entire life :/

Need to prioritize.

Nonetheless, at least vectors quiz wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Shall take that to be a good sign. A wonderfully good sign hopefully.

---

别怕 风不一定会卷起沙
也许 它只想悄悄抚摸你的长发

你看 雨并不是总会倾盆落下
它好像只想 在你的侧脸 轻轻擦过像吻了一下

天上的星地上的花脚边石头肩上蝴蝶你还喜欢吗
我的眼神动作步伐神态都输给他们了吧
上个门牌下盏路灯会让你暂时忘了我去哪了吗
就不枉我千变万化留下

爱是我最后的力量
拼命散落在这世界上
让天地万物代替我
陪你放心看 未来有多漂亮

爱是我全部的力量
代替我留在你心上
当你想念我 心跳会替我回答

别怕 陌生人不总是那么陌生
我的冷笑话 好多人会讲 你听谁语气和我最像

爱是你给我的力量
就全部留在这世界上
让天地万物代替我
还给你微笑 勇气 自信 希望

爱是我给你的力量
代替我留在你心上
对你的思念 像心跳不用回答

None of this looks like it's supposed to be a theme song for a horror movie. But then again, the movie isn't very typical either.

All I know is that well, I love copying and pasting lyrics. :/

---

There are always good and bad sides to a thing.

Appearances can turn out to be quite deceiving, so do first impressions.

What you thought was bad at first could turn out to be a huge blessing, so long you can look at the issue from another angle.

But how many people can actually try to look at this from the angle that would somewhat benefit them more?

Not that benefits can really be weighed, because it's relative to every person.

The result awaits.

Some things in life are pretty ironic.

---

I still can't get over the fact that promos are coming in 17 days for now. Shucks. What happened to the months that just flew past? Right, they took a flight and will never be back. Haiz.

---

<3

♥ 1:02 AM

Yes, first time woken up so early over the holidays without needing to go out! Biggest accomplishment thus far hmm.

It's quite amusing when the status bar clearly show No Internet Access and it still is working, albeit a bit weirdly.

Youtube videos not loading very properly T.T

Ah sheesh totally forgot everything about vectors. Either that or the supplementary exercise belongs to another dimension which I cannot reach that easily in such a short time.

I need to cheer up, seriously.

Emo mood swings are kind of dumb -.-

Underlying problems still present hmm. But it's amazing how some sleep and extra stuff can lead to a better mood.

---

以为习惯了自由　你改变了节奏
有你陪伴我左右　世界并不寂寞
喜欢你认真的手　琢磨着未来颜色
陪你许愿流星划过

换换我的爱情　开始冒险游戏
让爱充满惊喜　甜蜜在心底
为了梦想出击　是你笑容鼓励
阳光就在迎风的距离 　耀眼

换换我的爱情　改变幸福魔力
也许不够天份　收藏你美丽
天使加速感应 亲吻爱的羽翼
祈祷每天爱情都可以加油

Lol an attempt to lengthen this blog post.

So addictive, both tune and lyrics <3

Not that I can relate much to it currently, but oh wells.

Sweet love is nice.

♥ 2:12 PM

It is somehow forever in human nature to only remember the bad things and disregard all good ones.

Doing one single bad thing can only serve to overwrite all other good things you've done for the person.

And sometimes, it sucks even more that there are situations of pot calling the kettle black.

Yes, nobody is perfect in this world.

But that really doesn't mean that you can put me down as and when you like to.

When the people you love and cherish the most keep on telling you to go die and that you are no better than an animal, no matter how cute the animal may be, it doesn't feel good, not at all.

No wonder my self-esteem is low, isn't it? Being exposed to criticisms like that everyday.

You never know if someday, I might just choose to act according to your words and break free. You never know.

But then again, there's so much more to it.

---

Sometimes, I just wish that everything hadn't changed, that I had somebody who could give me the advice I need.

I hate me.

♥ 5:42 PM

Today was more productive than a lot of other days. >< And if I only did 3 questions of vectors today, that says a lot about my first half of holidays -.-

But of course, main point today wasn't mugging xD

NJRC <3

I actually miss cca in nanyang, the times when we were all squeezed in that small little room, trying to get our robots and programs to work. It might have been stressful, we might have felt quite disappointed at times. But at least, then it truly felt like a club, where we did things together.

And of course, I miss holding the lego set too.

I actually had a lot more I wanted to type, but I think that all flew away the moment I reached home lol.

Except, it was nice to see juniors again (:

---

Sometimes, I'm really grateful that I wasn't so close to seniors to get a scare from them regarding JC. It sounds like torture ><

But as said, 2 years still pass by fast. Or they better do. xD

---

在天亮之前做好准备
往前方的路 能看得到终点
我不会后悔 我很绝对
我要一个精彩的明天

Such brimming optimism ^^

This sounds like a nice mindset to adopt, especially in the face of changing times, changing situations.

♥ 10:29 PM

My sleeping hours are really ><

That comes from getting addicted to way too many things over the past few days <3 I have totally no idea whether to laugh or to cry ><

But at least one good thing that comes out of everything: relaxing.

Tomorrow shall mark the start of mugging hahaha. Crossing fingers that I don't die that badly for promos.

But oh, waking so wayyy early tomorrow :O Earliest since Friday OMG o.0

Tomorrow's going to be wonderful day! :DD

And I bet juniors would totally ace NJRC~~

---

Sometimes, I hate how so many memories have to be linked together.

♥ 6:52 PM

It's amazing how so many unexpected things can confirm your faith in something, even more amazing how walking on the streets can cause so many thoughts to firm.

For every single thing that happens, there has to be a reason behind it, one that greatly impacts your life.

They might not all be good, but well, at least, in the future you know it will change your life for the better.

Only after you withstand all the trials then you can truly come out of it a better person.

---

Some people will always hold that special place in your hearts, no matter how long a time has passed. <3

Doesn't mean I have to do anything about it now xD

誰懂在時間的秘密花園中 你從沒走

---

I just gained a new fave xD

♥ 9:39 PM

Three digit LOL xD

---

Yesterday Teachers' Day celebration was nice, saw people I wasn't expecting to see, talked to teachers, missed Nanyang way too much <3

My mom is right in saying that 教師節變成同學日了 xD

But of course teachers get gifts too hahahaha.

And for me, maybe yeah catch up on sleep day. <3 I realize that I really love sleeping, much to my own maybe horror?

---

I realize, sometimes, you don't need to talk that much to be close friends.

The only way for friends to drift apart is when you feel that you don't trust the other person anymore.

In a friendship, especially a close one, you trust the friend in ways you never thought you could or would.

And even if you don't see the person that much, don't chat that often, when you do, the feeling of closeness is still there. Just because the trust you place in the person and the care you have for the person hasn't diminished, even over that long period of time.

You are the first person I've shared my problems these few days with, and those, are probably one of my deepest secrets so far xD Thanks for giving me the advice I needed, really. 一句話就幫我想通 <3 (You know who you are xD) Need to catch up someday eh?

A close friend will be a close one for a long time. <3

---

This post isn't that emo hahahaha! :D

---

Need to start counting down hmm now that initial shock and horror has worn down.

And I still love my life.

♥ 2:43 PM

Being in the minority is really bad, really stupid. And what's worse is majority wins, the feelings of the minority are disregarded. 5 out of 1000 plus is not very nice is it?

But society is always cruel. To achieve what is the best result possible, the minority has to be sacrificed. And obviously, now I feel like I'm on my way to the slaughter table called promos.

I was happy for much of the day, maybe a few emo moments here and there when things start popping up into my mind under the quiet surroundings of the school. But all of that was ruined, is still currently ruined and tomorrow will be mass ranting session I guarantee.

This wasn't even what I wanted to talk about in my blog today, but I guess everything I wanted to talk about just flew out of the window when EMB opened.

Never knew that things could get any worse than this, never knew that there were actually worse things that people could do to people.

And sometimes, getting your wish isn't that good after all. Not when the cons that come along far outweigh the pros you thought would come with that wish.

August is over wow. And officially, less than 1 month left to doom. Yay.

It's good that I have ranting channels, if not what you see here would probably be a whole lot more expletives and uncensored stuff.

But it's nice to let my parents finally know what I do in school for one. I was so agitated by the timetable everything just came out when I tried complaining about it.

Unique isn't that bad. There's a reason why risks have to be taken. Without that, you would never know what is nice and what's not.

I'm going around in circles. But ah wells, can't expect much when I'm going to collapse soon.

---

The drama today was really not bad, interesting plot, albeit a bit factual.

But the wonders of drama wow. Never thought that you could pass off two different people as one single person that easily (or not).

Dry ice turns out to be mildly distracting but some of the effects were just way cool.

Learnt a lot more for sure. Like maybe how I really can't understand Chinese before the Mao era very well. :/ Okay and interesting facts that happened in China.


---

其實我的執著依然執著 <3

♥ 12:37 AM