Two days pass by fast. And slacking away a lot of it.

So much on my (not very proper) to-do list is done xD

It's quite stupid how tomorrow is the only day of proper school in the entire week, yet it's piled up to the max.

Who came up with the idea of making us watch a play anyway? ><

A lesson for every single subject tomorrow, except for PW and econs hmm. Better be survivable.

Yet I foresee way too much sleeping again haiz.

I need to kick that habit -.-

Admittedly, I repaid much of sleep debt these days.

Jiayous tomorrow! (:

Shall be grateful for everything so far.

It's amazing how close people can somehow be having the same thoughts without talking about it beforehand xD And even having the same feelings hmm. <3

So many things to look forward to~

♥ 11:51 PM

I respect that collating is not easy.

But seriously, when the leader delegates work that is easiest to herself, and is biased towards the delegation, it's not very nice ><

Thinking or doing. Which one is harder?

I really can't stand leaders who just delegate and assume that everyone is happy.

In a group, you are supposed to discuss who does what, and make sure everyone knows. Not make it like you are superior and giving an order.

Leadership can't be given to those who don't deserve it.

Yet I can't say that I'm not happy with it. When this happens, life is horrible.

But then again, get it over and done with is still the best.

I want to sleep.

Grah.

♥ 10:19 PM

This feels like holidays, truly nice and slack.

Even though there are actually so many things to do ><

I can't fault you for giving me things to think about, but when these things occupy my thoughts way too much especially since it's holidays now, I can't help but wonder why you had to do this. Haiz.

But yeah, I get your intentions.

Sometimes, things are just not a matter of faith and belief, when you have other things to think about, just having the faith does not help.

If only someone could tell me what to do.

Sometimes, I just wished I wasn't so spontaneous to agree to just about anything and everything that seems reasonable to me. Haiz.

It sucks when Internet reliance is so huge. And the worry isn't getting any less even while typing. Natural disasters haiz ><

---

On a happier note, at least I can slack a bit later after pw is finished xD

If some things don't get into my mind.

Everything will be okay, right?

♥ 4:58 PM

Today, finally, pursuing interests without feeling that much guilt.

For the past few days, tests didn't seem like tests, school didn't seem like school.

Revision feels so half-hearted, and it truly was. Considering I didn't start on inflation and economic growth until today morning in school.

---

The weather today, nice too.

Raining in the sun, pretty much felt like it describes feelings nowadays. In the overall atmosphere of rain, there's still sun to bring some light and hope. But nonetheless, still rain.

Or looking at it from the other side, it's sunny but the bad things will pass once they're over.

It sounds better than a torrential downpour in any case. So many people falling sick nowadays :/

But haiz, reality settles in and tomorrow sounds not very nice.

At least sequences and series is really enjoyable to do, I think I just found my favourite topic in Math. <3 Up till AP and GP anyway. Hopefully the rest is nice.

Reliving memories about Investigation from p4 to p6 was nice. It was my favourite paper too haha. But foundations really matter a lot, don't they?

The things that look vaguely familiar stir up feelings in the heart I don't even know how to describe. Time to improve on vocabulary.

And these are often the times, it's either you find the corners of your mouth lifting up at the happy memories that float up onto the surface, or sink into this deep abyss of emotions until something can cheer you up and get that smile back.

Smiles are really precious. <3

Memories are meant to be treasured, just like smiles are directed at people.

But yeah still 想念, not a nice feeling at times either. Worse if almost everything can remind you of certain things you don't want to think about haiz ><

---

Half day tomorrow yesss!

But lol skipping CSC again :O

---

Still waiting, still hoping, still praying.

Still thinking that it will be worth it doing all of the above.

Miracles happen, don't they?

♥ 11:28 PM

Did nothing productive since I came home, and it's not like I'm going to be productive anytime soon >< Econs hmm. Last minute, again.

History wasn't as bad as expected, even though it was totally chiong-ing all the way at the end. I still don't want to look at my paper when it comes back ><

There're so many things to be grateful for. For one, no CCA on the day before Econs lecture test. I can't imagine how I would ever study anything if that was the case. But sheesh having CCA and otherwise don't seem very different -.-

---

I realize that I really don't have a lot of friends I count as close. When I say someone is close to me, that person has probably truly touched my heart, and I can trust that person wholeheartedly.

And other than these close friends, my social circle still seems pathetic.

But it's equally nice to have a few friends to care about. <3 And it's nice to get some care back too.

To all close friends reading this (you know who you are, hopefully xD), thanks so much! ^^

Haha I'm just getting emotional on the brink of mugging.

---

I still don't know what Marshall Lerner's condition is used for ><

---

Can't wait for the September hols! And for me to clear up all backlog -.-

Yesh broke new record today, maybe because history was pressurizing.

Shall attempt to break another one tomorrow.

It kind of sucks to be known in class for sleeping EVERY single lesson.

There are only that many times you can suan me when you're not a very close friend of mine. Seriously.

---

24 August almost over! Awww sheesh still got some more things to do ><

---

Just as how it's torturous for dancers to dance with amateurs who have major coordination problems, it's just as bad for people of different skill levels to work together. But alas, in society today, you can't really avoid that, can you? I just hope that I ain't that much a burden to anybody haiz. Except dance, yeah coordination troubles indeed ><

Taking 2 seconds to recognize right and left and move accordingly is quite bad. Really bad. Doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon either.

---

Most of the above are probably random thoughts that occurred to me while on the bus back home today. You can totally tell how my thoughts go usually: random and pointless.

Lively music can really lift up spirits ^^

♥ 8:51 PM

As usual, procrastination.

I'm reminded of the eraser that lies in my pencil case.

But sometimes, not all procrastination is bad I suppose.

It's nice to be able to at least have some motivation not to just collapse of stress from 3 consecutive papers from Tuesday to Thursday.

And at least, I can smile and laugh at so many things even when I'm quite convinced that I'm going to die for history and econs ><

But ah well, CA is not everything, it's just how depressing it gets when results come back and I know I could have done much better if I were not doing *ahem* certain things.

Some things are wonderful at distracting my thoughts away from things I shouldn't be thinking about.

I can't wait to see some things changed <3

Whenever I think of 24th August now, a lot of things will probably come to mind.

On a side note, my design skills aren't as bad as I thought ><

This is a purely random post to distract myself from reality.

Escape is useful at times, isn't it?

---

Avoidance can get pretty obvious, but haiz what else is there to do? Seems like some forced mutual agreement when you get helpless.

Smiles are contagious I would think; they can stir up so many emotions in just that one short moment.

♥ 1:05 AM

Relationships are complicated, and no matter how much effort you put in, it somehow always end up with some screwed times, some happy times, some maybe neutral ones.

A small little thing can trigger off so much feelings, so many conflicts, so many different types of emotions.

How you get along with someone often is so unpredictable.

I'm tired. And sometimes, I really just want to be alone in this little corner. Everything is much simpler when there's only yourself and non-animate things to deal with, isn't it?

But no, we all live in society, and if you don't deal with people, you can't survive.

Haiz such a long way to go.

Sometimes, it's way easier to talk to someone you've just known that someone you face every single day.

Need to think about how to wake up with an alarm clock for now.

---

I really can't bring myself to apologize for something which I think it's not entirely my fault. Pride at work >< And maybe it's just my principle haiz. Much as it can salvage the situation...

Cold wars still exist >< Somewhat.

---

There are so many things I want to say, yet nothing comes out.

---

Found my purple watch after so many long months <3 And it's still working :O

Super high from a ton of things now! ^^

♥ 12:00 AM

It's really quite dumb how stress seems to be eternally there, no matter what time it is. Maybe the only time one can truly feel free is a nice long holiday.

Everyday, people complain about stress, not having enough time to do things.

And much as my stress level is way lower compared to so many other people (procrastination much -.-), it feels so helpless so see people start fretting about school and a ton of other school-related stuff.

And worse thing again, the stress that each person faces can only be overcome by the person himself or herself. Stress may be a common feeling, but only you know yourself best, and sometimes, having confidence in your own ability is hard, isn't it?

Two words: struggling student.

Having one test for all the days next week except Monday sounds very not optimistic to me, especially if revision is barely started. But somehow, my stress coming from that is zero at the moment. Unless my stress manifests itself in sleeping a lot.

CSC hmm half touched, that's good at least. Though tomorrow feels gg.

Maybe in two hours time when I'm still awake will I start panicking and screaming that nothing is finished yet. And not to mention, essay test tomorrow. Need to pull up GP grades haiz.

---

我创造我自己 这不死之谜
我主宰我自己 这不死之谜
我缔造一个奇迹 这不死之谜
我是死神也是上帝

就算我燃烧我自己 这不死之谜
也可以照亮我自己 这不死之谜
我有无穷火力 这不死之谜
足够让我无止境活下去

Nice lyrics somewhat, even if the tune can get a bit hmmm at times.

---

It's ironic isn't it? Sometimes, only you can understand yourself, yet other times, you don't know yourself at all.

不管怎麼樣, 即使未來的路看起來多麼黑暗, 但是總會有幾個人對你的信任把路照亮, 讓你繼續有勇氣走下去. xD

I have faith in a lot of people, and that faith won't go away anytime soon. And well, things will turn out for the better, because we control our lives.

你一定行的 <3

It's amazing how this seemingly simple sentence can be so encouraging at times.

---

Much as I shouldn't be doing a lot of things now, I don't regret it because at least, I'm doing something I like now. Hopefully not at the expense of academics, because either way, society is still as real as ever.

♥ 12:14 AM

Been slacking a lot, sleeping very little, feeling moody.

But overall, somehow, life is pretty nice.

Some things, once you do them, they bring about this feeling that's quite unprecedented, no matter how much time was spent, it was somewhat fulfilling. If this continues until promos, then well, I just need to learn how to balance and manage ><

Can't believe I lost 10 marks for math lecture test just because of carelessness.

From primary 1 until now, carelessness has been one of the most fatal mistakes for math haiz. And it doesn't look like it's going to change anytime soon. It sucks even more when the paper is out of 25 -.-

Some simple things really make one happy.

Yet the tinging sense of guilt is still lingering there and refusing to go away. Trying to be neutral is hard ><

Finding balances is so much easier in essays than in real life. Two opposite ends of the spectrum, and I've been on both of them. It's not nice, really.

Dancesports hmm.

I feel sorry for my partner, I take more than thrice the time to learn basic steps -.-

♥ 12:16 AM

I think it's really nice to figure out some things in life, to have a certain feeling of happiness that just happens.

When sometimes you get too tired of something, it really does help to just take a break from it relax and think about it.

The past few days were quite weird, moody a lot, and well, just felt like I was just floating about.

Glad that at least now I feel more grounded, more like I have something to do in life rather than all the meaningless things I do nowadays.

And for one, nice to discover something that really interests me.

My life did change a lot since the end of last year, and it has always been amazing how fate worked to bring about all these changes I never thought would have happened.

New experiences, new feelings, new likes, new people. And not everything was bad.

Just really thankful for life now.

And I'm making up my mind to focus on school, a lot.

Math lecture test was ironic, integration seemed easier than vectors, but ah well, appearances are deceiving. So rather start working towards promos than think about results that are coming back ahem tomorrow ^^

---

快乐的俱乐部由你作主
请打开你心灵的窗户
有权利做梦就有义务
天天进步是最大的财富

♥

Thought this was nice, seems even nicer now.

♥ 10:12 PM

No sense of urgency yet. I think the 7% might as well be gone haiz.

Maybe it's because I somehow slept too much and ended up wanting to sleep more.

Or maybe it's just because there're so many things to think about.

No mood to study for math at all. And the more I do math, the more I don't like it, especially when I find out it is one stupid careless mistake that causes me to stare at that pathetic question for 1 hour.

Home environment is really not good to study in, I realized.

Too many distractions, and sometimes, too many people.

Library suddenly sounds nice. And even the class bench at night.

Need for a lot of quiet, and a really good mood to do math.

Having no proper table to start solving everything is probably one of the reasons too haiz.

At this rate, I can write an entire essay on the causes of bad math results.

Using analysis of varying types of causes -.-

Need to apply my passion more.

Too bad subbing doesn't really use math per say ><

There're some things that are really really relaxing to do, and math is still never one of them.

♥ 10:08 PM

Haha I'm still not over that wonderfully cute hippo.

I actually miss the days when I used to love all these really cute things. Life was way simpler when I could just stare into the eyes of Pinky and confess all my little things to the cute dog with floppy ears. Doing that now just makes me feel weird -.- Even if Pinky is still really cute with floppy years. I can't figure out how stuffed dogs can slim down -.- Plus Pinky is somewhere stuck on the top of my wardrobe.

Achievement today: 2 questions of integration.

What happened to my determination to not procrastinate? ><

No sense of urgency at all. What is this? And OMG CSC untouched. I shall just dao it until monday afternoon gosh.

---

Some hints are actually pretty obvious I realised -.-

Especially when one gets really desperate.

---

Some dreams are really kind of weird. ><

And it's even weirder that I can actually remember it.

Maybe food and beverages were just a huge part of my life to begin with -.-

---

Some people just won't own up to what they do haiz. No matter what it is.

That issue has been a topic of constant discussion since this morning ><

And shouting still sucks. Very noisy.

---

This is getting to be a random collection of thoughts that are running through my mind currently as more things start to happen.

---

Chinese is a truly wonderful language that can reach deep into the hearts. And maybe that's why Chinese songs always had this certain charm to them, the language is truly beautiful. Even if I'm not typing in Chinese now.

想要忘记一段感情，方法永远只有一个：时间和新欢。要是时间和新欢也不能让你忘记一段感情，原因只有一个：时间不够长，新欢不够好。

♥ 12:10 AM

The dumb thing about school holidays is that they pass by so fast, it's like they never happened.

3 days of no lessons was supposed to seem like a nice long break.

But then going back to school today seemed like the break had been in my dreams and was non-existent.

Tiring :/

Feeling accomplished and happy today. Relatively anyway.

Haha EOY revision :O

And once again, nice night sky in school hmmm. Nice and cooling, sort of anyway.

I can predict all future thursdays.

But actually, mugging in school doesn't really make much difference from home. Neither is there a difference between mugging with friends and otherwise. Because well, home just provides more opportunities to slack off with the internet.

The school is sadly lacking in food though.

Spent 10 dollars today eating stuff that wasn't really enough ><

Still can predict tomorrow. Sleeping time >< And maybe time to start clearing CSC ahem.

Tomorrow suddenly sounds not nice. No actually later.

But oh wells, it's still nice to look forward to week 10 xD

♥ 12:04 AM

This is so cuteee <3

Staring at the pic for 15 minutes is <3

Though well, sad rhino to see a horn everywhere.

But it does say a lot about how the perspective of the world differs with everyone.

It's just that the position and how our personal invisible horn looks like.

---

Interesting things that can be found on weibo heh. ^^

I'm still in love with this pic, it calls out to the deepest parts of my heart or something.

Not sleeping just to stare at a picture is pathetic.

But gosh <3

♥ 12:20 AM

The National Day holiday really didn't feel like much of a holiday. Maybe except for my drama marathon.

Quite pointless holiday haiz, considering I got almost nothing cleared over this time. Maybe except for econs essay plan. Sometimes, it really helps to study with friends.

21 more newspaper reflections to go, they shall occupy my free time in school ><

---

Been eating too many burgers lately. How unhealthy can my life get? :/

I was thinking that it had been bad enough.

---

Can't believe that a few days can pass by so fast.

Haven't talked in so long, waiting for that everyday, and obviously that kind of never happens ><

Haiz.

There are some things which make up a huge part of my life, some people who never fail to brighten up my day, and it all feels so empty without them ><

2 more hours to end of today.

Maybe hoping does help.

<3

If time could be manipulated, it wouldn't really be time, would it?

---

Lol I was trying to do a PW survey and gave up when the whole thing was about pursuing a career in medical research.

Wrong target haha.

♥ 9:56 PM

I really don't get why some happiness has to be derived from someone else's suffering.

Even if you can't be friends any longer, wasting your effort to spite that person just shows that you haven't gotten over whatever incident happened between you. And if it had been true friendship, it probably wouldn't have ended so easily and came to this extent.

Some people piss me off, a lot. Including myself.

And the best thing to do is just to ignore them haiz.

---

Been in a pretty bad mood recently.

Or maybe today was just a really bad day.

Waking up to icy water isn't exactly my favourite way to wake up on a holiday, especially not so if it's only 9 plus and I need all the sleep I can get today. Since tomorrow sounds pretty impossible for sleeping a nice sleep.

Much as I like the feeling of ice, waking up haiz.

Subsequent things just ended up snowballing even further.

I want to just get off everything and go have a nice peaceful rest for now. But no, stuck doing stupid newspaper reflections.

It is never a good idea to push things to the last minute, I realized.


---

你最近還好嗎?

♥ 10:10 PM

Everywhere you go today, you see seas and seas of red. From the morning in the MRT station to the afternoon in the MRT, it's all red. Hardly any white hmm. But well, shows the nice mood and atmosphere that's going around in anticipation of National Day tomorrow!

---

Taking a random bus from school is pretty exciting.

Haha, admittedly we didn't really want to take any random bus and end up in an ulu place with nowhere to go.

So it was really quite funny when 174 came and we were screaming for joy because we wouldn't end up somewhere like uh Geylang or in the middle of some housing estate.

The bus ride was infuriating though >< Why force yourself to try and contain everybody when there was hardly any space left?

4th bus, 23rd stop.

We ended up at the stop after plazza sing, where the first thing we saw was a huge laksa sign staring at us.

Hungry much?

Long walk back to somewhere we could actually eat a nice budgeted decent meal. i.e The Cathay

It's quite funny how you can run into so many people after national day celebrations.

Nice time with friends spent, window shopping was pretty fun.

Even though we were all really sleepy and tired when we finally collapsed in McDonalds.

Yum ice cream. <3 And fries :D

The next time this happens will be a long way away >< Promos bleh.

---

I always wondered why we had to try our best to just take whatever comes, and even try to squeeze some more when it's pretty much near impossible.

Just like how a bus has a specific volume, we probably have a limit to how much you can tolerate and hold out.

My bus is probably some 4 seater car ><

When there's no more space, just admit it and move on, and wait for something to get out when the time is right.

People come and go on the bus, the things that come and go in our life are probably more than that.

Life is way easier if we can be relaxed.

But then, if we did choose to do that, opportunity costs haiz ><

If choices in life were easy, the world will be much nicer, really.

---

I finally know where I got my fondness for screaming from.

Waking up to screaming everyday is one of the saddest things ever.

I rather get poked or tickled or dragged up.

I need earplugs. And maybe really really good earphones that can block out everything and let me live in peace for a moment.

♥ 10:26 PM

As expected, did nothing productive today. No wonder I work better under stress.

Feel so slack, feel so guilty, but still don't do anything ><

Yes, tomorrow early dismissal! :DD

---

Stalking people xD ahem.

Haha quite openly but oh wells >< Facebook quite revealing when you don't talk every night.

Inner peace and outer peace.

Wishing for that haiz.

Even if the environment is there to try and achieve peace, still quite impossible to attain what is truly called peace.

Inner peace reminds me of kungfu panda haha.

If staring at a drop of water and manipulating it helps, that'll be quite cool.

Either that or meditation which is pretty hard ><

Peace is road to happiness.

---

如果我们只是擦肩而过
何必在彼此身上
留下伤痕

♥ 11:17 PM

Pagophagia. Addiction to chewing ice. Sounds pretty much like me if I'm craving ice too much.

The ice in teh bing is nice. Reasons for addiction to teh bing -.-

Need to go do something about it sheesh.

---

Lol today so uneventful and boring ><

Not to mention tired. Didn't ever know that doing history for a few hours can be so unproductive yet taxing. Haiz.

EOYs are coming!

Revision plans never work out so far. National day holiday is gone.

I love it when teachers all decide together that we are free people. Obviously, that makes us not free.

Lessons from 8 to 4 with half an hour time of eating is ><

---

Dilemma.

Maintain status quo or take a huge risk to change something?

Facing the same dilemma everyday is sianz.

♥ 10:28 PM

I hate it when my instincts tell me that the decision I make is wrong.

I hate it even more when I decide to ignore my instincts.

There are so many things which I pretty much suck at, one of which includes making decisions.

From minor to major, I pretty much took a lot of wrong steps in life, did a lot of things which I really shouldn't have done.

Looking back, they did influence me quite a lot haiz.

And even up till now, regrets still follow.

I really hope that everything will turn out alright. Really.

Everyone is so plagued with problems nowadays, is there anyone who is being truly happy?

---

A few months sounds long, but somehow it just whizzed past.

And now, as everything is nearing, I can't help but think whether it will really happen.

Waiting gives rise to so many complicated feelings, so many thoughts.

Not knowing if the thing you're waiting for will ever come just makes everything much worse than it already is.

---

Need to desperately start working. But there doesn't seem like a single cell in my body that wants to start on anything called PW.

Haiz, sometimes, I really don't get why nothing can be done when there is no mood.

---

It's either everything is a miracle, or nothing is.

♥ 11:29 PM

Much as I probably should be putting my motivation and inspiration to write to better use (ahem PW), I figured out I'm not exactly in the mood to do anything productive yet, and maybe some more useless ranting will get me somewhat in the mood. Hopefully. I hate digressing haiz.

---

I just realised why on earth we are on Tutorial 6D now when the whole world seems to still be at 6C or even earlier.

3 tutorials a week sounds like a lot suddenly, and it seemed normal enough >< Apparently not.

Okay maybe and attribute it to the good lecturer we got so 6C was actually easy for once.

Sense of achievement when pure guessing and playing around with the different formulas can solve a question not gone through yet. Even if the solution looks a bit too long ><

Except hmm back to figuring out the rest of Tutorial 6D doesn't sound that tempting when there's going to be class test.

---

As expected, got home pretty late today.

Must never think that SMRT buses always come at the same time, 961 took a bit too long to come ><

And I'm still hungry.

But still a nice time today <3

I mean it has been a while since I could feel that relaxed in school, and high! xD

Figured out that it is indeed nice to have friends to talk about this kind of things with :D

Being high in LT3 was highly amusing.

只對你有感覺 ♥

---

Once some stuff are said out, they can never be taken back.

It's really kind of nice to have someone to talk to.

♥ 10:01 PM

I predict a late sleeping time tonight. ><

And gosh feel so bad for sleeping during almost every single lesson today. If not for the fact that there was Southeast Asian history today, I would be sleeping three quarters of all lessons away blehs.

Not like sleeping really helped, I'm still tired now. -.-

---

I really don't get how predicting the future is supposed to be useful for GP, unless you call training writing skills a reasonable excuse.

Crack my brains some more after PW haha. At least it's due ahem tomorrow morning. Which I shall take as 11.59am or something >< As bad as that is.

---

First day of August, nothing really new. Time flies so fast, I thought July just came.

But then again, looking at the wonderful EOY revision plan didn't help a lot, just made everything seem so much faster.

---

Planes are annoying. Random things that appear out of nowhere are annoying too.

♥ 10:52 PM